I'm beginning to feel like a broken record every time I sit down to write about the latest Sci-Fi Channel effort to glaze over my eyes. I could tell you all about Vipers' sub-par CGI effects, about its standard and boring plotline, or about just how damn bad it truly is but instead of that, I'll just let you know all you need to know: Tara Reid gets top-billing. If that itself doesn't give you a reason to avoid this, then all the best to you, buddy. But what blows my mind about this whole endeavour is that Reid possibly isn't the worst thing here. I've sat through a lot of these Sci-Fi stinkers and, to the best of my memory, this is the worst of the lot, which is saying a lot when you consider I've also seen Bats: Human Harvest.

The poor CGI effects arrive early as Vipers starts with a failed hijacking attempt of some genetically mutated viper snakes from the laboratories of Universal Bio Tech, who've been using the serpents to come up with a cure for cancer. This, of course, leads to a whole slew of the slithering creatures getting free and they end up making their way to the small, and remote, lakeshore village of Eden Cove. Upon their arrival they soon dispose of a honeymooning couple with many a resident to follow.

Thrown into the middle of it all is solider-turned-doctor Cal (Jonathan Scarfe) who gets to be the centrepiece in a script filled with plentiful small town ramblings and sappy drama scattered amongst scenes of fish heads being found floating in the lake, our mutant vipers biting various people (and exposing bone usually) in crappy looking CGI, and cast members making bad attempts at looking scared and repeatedly calling out each other's names. Reid also makes her appearance and gets to cry a bunch of times thanks to the shitty emotional moments between Cal and herself since he's the brother of her deceased ex. Then comes the last third where our survivors are racing against time to escape the island before the government (more specifically, Homeland Security - what?) launch an air strike.

When Vipers was over I began to wonder to myself if there's actually ever been any good killer snake films. 1982's Venom with Klaus Kinski wasn't too bad and the second Anaconda film entertained me but, when it comes to members of the reptile family, I think it's just too difficult to get any real scares from snakes. There's really only so many shots of them hanging from the ceiling or lunging at the camera you can do in a ninety-minute movie and it's certain that director Bill Corcoran used up his quota here.

As I said earlier, Reid isn't the worst thing here. I don't even think she gives the poorest performance but it's really hard to stomach her rebellious, marijuana growing character being the love interest to Scarfe's Cal when they have a moment during the finale where they quote Pink Floyd lyrics at each other. And any hope I had of b-movie veteran Corbin Bernsen (The Dentist, Major League) coming in and chewing up scenery in his brief role as the head of our biotech company are met with disappointment as he's simply here cashing a paycheque.

Even being a fan of creature features, I found Vipers to be a waste of time. When I wasn't busy being bored in between the dopey attack scenes, I was too busy being distracted by the low-grade effects on display. This is just as lazy as a good portion of the Sci-Fi films of the past (and probably future) and even my attempts to take it as camp weren't at all successful. If anything, the only successful thing this manages to do is make me want to go back and watch the much more entertaining "nature run amok!" drive-in fare of the 70's such as Kingdom of the Spiders, Food of the Gods, or Grizzly. (Chris Hartley, 12/10/09)

Directed By: Bill Corcoran.
Written By: Brian Katkin.

Starring: Tara Reid, Jonathan Scarfe, Jessica Steen, Genevieve Buechner.