Vacancy is the exact polar opposite of what Hollywood's trying to do with PG-13 horror films. It's an attempt to be edgy and disturbing while having some recognizable names above the title to try and draw in viewers. The only problem being that what's on display here is neither of these things. Despite what the makers want you to believe, it's neither edgy nor disturbing. It's simply a half-baked, one location thriller that doesn't really go anywhere or offer any real thrills. If I were to describe what Mark L. Smith's script amounts to it would be the following: "Hide 'N Seek in the dark".

Bickering married, soon to be divorced, couple David and Amy Fox (Luke Wilson, Kate Beckinsale) are on the way home and David decides to take a shortcut off the Interstate to try and speed things up. Along the way he swerves out of the way of hitting a raccoon on the road and ends-up damaging the car enough so that it won't run properly.

They're stuck in the middle of nowhere, with no wheels, and each other's grudging company. But, unluckily for them it turns out, they're close to the Pinewood Motel, which is off the beaten track, lacking customers, and pretty much deserted save for night counter clerk, Mason (Frank Whaley). Since they can't get help from the garage next door until morning, they decide to stay the night little knowing what they're about to get into.

It starts off with silent phone calls and aggressive door knocking, but they soon find themselves in much more danger than they could ever expect when David discovers that the VHS tapes in the room, which seem to contain old horror movies, were shot in the room they're staying in. That's right, the Pinewood is the filming location for brutal snuff films as evidenced by the various hidden cameras (such as in the ventilation system) and trap doorways.

The remainder of Vacancy has our couple trying to stay alive while the quite mental Mason and his cronies attempt to stop them from ever leaving their fine establishment. A premise that writer Smith and director Nimrod Antal (making his English-language debut here) don't do nearly enough with during the film's, admittedly breezy, 85 minute running time. Which is truly too bad, because as Bryan Bertino's The Strangers proved a year after this came out, it's quite possible to wring a whole lot of tension and suspense from setting your film in a solitary, confined location while ramping up the claustrophobia and dread.

Instead, this entire endeavour comes across with an empty feeling and while I did enjoy Antal's creative use of various camera angles and shots (such as shooting Beckinsale's character talking by focusing on the car's side mirror) there just wasn't enough meat here to latch my teeth into. It's case also isn't helped by Paul Haslinger's swelling, wannabe spooky musical score and the fact that Smith's script not only feels half-assed, especially during the finale, but has a few lame logic lapses - I know that if I was the motel clerk I wouldn't waste time toying with my victims for so damn long, I'd just get out my extra key and be done with it.

While Vacancy doesn't really have much to offer, if there was one bright spot amongst all the passable thrills it would have to be Whaley. A pretty busy character actor, his performance as Mason is just over-the-top and nutty enough to be enjoyable to watch. It's too bad that he's not returning when the direct-to-DVD prequel(?!) arrives on shelves in early 2009. (Chris Hartley, 1/10/09)

Directed By: Nimrod Antal.
Written By: Mark L. Smith.

Starring: Luke Wilson, Kate Beckinsale, Frank Whaley, Ethan Embry.