I'm sure of it, January is a horrible month for horror movies. Maybe it's the studios dumping off product they're not too keen on, or maybe its just movies that suck seem to nest around the first month of the year (an exception being this years Hostel). Last year it was Cursed, this year it's Underworld: Evolution.

A modest success in theatres before finding an audience on its subsequent DVD release, the original Underworld was pretty much a British take on the Blade series with an overly complicated attempt at plot with Kate Beckinsale as a leather-clad, weapons sporting vampire "death dealer" Selene who gets caught in the middle of an ages old battle between vampires and werewolves. Underworld: Evolution doesn't add much new to that plot when it brings back Beckinsale and her lover Michael Corvin (Scott Speedman) and puts them on the run from the recently resurrected uber-vampire Marcus (Tony Curran) who, as we see in an opening battle sequence set in 1202 A.D. that shows off the crappy CGI werewolf transformation effects, is the original vampire.

In fact, according to the backstory (which probably reads better on paper than it shows on screen), Marcus' twin brother William (Brian Steele) happens to be the original werewolf. This leads to many, many over exaggerated and sped-up action sequences with a slipshod plot sandwiched between all the gunfire, explosions, and overdone CGI effects. Also wedged in there is a sub-plot with Marcus trying to find the location of his brother in order to use him to become a super being and rule the World - with only Selene and the hybrid Michael standing in the way.

Filled with enough over emoting by the cast and loud action, Underworld: Evolution is packed to the hilt with enough ridiculous and mindless action to keep fans of the original and those with a high tolerance for stupidity amused, but for those of us who actually believe a story is important amongst all the chaos there's little here to chew on. The script by Danny McBride constantly shoots itself in the foot and throws logic to the wolves as events click by on screen with nary a hint of cohesion. An example of this is how early on we're told how important Speedman's hybrid character is only to use the character merely as a love interest for Beckinsale and to occasionally strip off his shirt and beat down various creatures.

Director Len Wiseman returns to the helm from the original and continues zipping the camera around hyperactively, but at least he manages to maintain the drab, yet over-stylized, look of the original. As an action director, he might be able to stage lots of over-the-top sequences (you have to see how insanely silly the finale is to believe it), but make him actually direct some plot and dialogue that don't seem to just be there to pad time until the next action scene and he'd probably be lost.

Underworld: Evolution is a sequel of the worst kind. Taking all the things people liked about the original and blowing them up ten-fold isn't always a good thing and this movie proves it. I won't admit to being a big fan of the first film (it never felt as "original" to me as some have touted it), but at least it managed to balance its action with an earnest attempt at plot. Sitting in the theatre during the sequel I constantly caught myself yawning at the action, groaning at the CGI effects, and wondering when it would all be over... (Chris Hartley, 1/29/06)

Directed By: Len Wiseman.
Written By: Danny McBride.

Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Tony Curran, Derek Jacobi.