My last experience with a North American Motion Pictures release was the woeful Mutants which I took to task for having some of the most misleading DVD box art I've seen in recent memory. Their latest release, 13teen, also falls victim to the marketing department with yet more eye-catching artwork that has nothing to do with the movie within but this time they've also added the critical comment "Seven meets Paranormal Activity" which, yet again, isn't at all true. However, after watching writer-director Pritesh N. Chheda's mix of thriller and religious guilt I'm not sure how they could've possibly truthfully marketed this as there's limited appeal and minimal cohesive plotting to hang much on.

Originally titled For Sale By Owner, it's no wonder this sat on the shelf for as long as it did before being dumped onto home video. There's a constant feeling that this was filmed over a weekend in someone's living room as most of the action takes place in one location with a small cast of actors trying to make some sense out of Chheda's script which is filled with tons of half-baked talking, religious blather, and an eventual attempt at a twist we care not for.

Sera (Amanda Brown) is spending the evening home alone and, in the early scenes, she's plagued by the sound of whispering and hears crying coming from a nearby bedroom. This is really the only time an apparent supernatural angle really rears its head as it's pretty much all forgotten once insurance contractor Andrew (John Lansch) shows up at the door. Seeing as there's a raging storm outside, Sera agrees to let him take shelter from the rain until his ride arrives or it stops, whichever comes first.

This is despite the fact Andrew comes across as being a little bit "off", which Lansch insists on playing as a series of smirks for the most part, and she's a young woman alone in a big house on a stormy night. But, thank goodness (sarcasm), Chheda is more interested in having his leads deliver a slew of dull, wannabe introspective, dialogue instead of building any suspense and does so with the minimal amount of camerawork possible as I certainly got tired of the endless "talking head" shots. This continues until about the halfway point, with Andrew mildly harassing Sera including delivering such stilted lines such as "Do you have a life insurance policy?" in a threatening manner.

Into the picture arrives John (Marc Hustvedt) from the security company to work on her alarm system. Seems John has his own issues with religion (sensing a trend?) and the film continues to spin its wheels as our characters bicker and we sit there wondering just why the Hell Sera continues to let strangers in her house that behave badly without turfing them and calling it a night. Then comes the aforementioned twist, which tries to bring in some minor genre elements involving a serial killer (that's mentioned briefly earlier in radio and television broadcasts) and some ghostly dead kids - both of which really have the bare minimum to do with the plot.

To call 13teen a confused movie would be an understatement. Chheda just doesn't seem to know what he wants to do with his script, as any attempts at tension are bulldozed over by the constant talk, talk, talk of the characters that are seemingly written to let Chheda deal with his personal religious turmoil. Add to the fact that the direction is basic "point-and-shoot" and the film feels incredibly boring despite being a mere 82 minutes.

North American doesn't get nearly as much strife from me for their bait 'n' switch this time out but that's simply because there's no possible way 13teen could have made them any money using the "truth in advertising" strategy. I'm unsure why they even picked this up in the first place, and a whole five years after its completion, and I strongly advise you to quickly walk in the opposite direction if you happen to cross its path in the video store - remember, there's a whole horror section and a good two-thirds of what's there (if not more) is sure to be better than what's on display here. (Chris Hartley, 3/5/10)

Directed By: Pritesh N. Chheda.
Written By: Pritesh N. Chheda.

Starring: Amanda Brown, John Lansch, Marc Hustvedt, Trent Batey.

Picture Ratio: 1.77:1 Widescreen.

Picture Quality: This low-budget production looks fine on DVD with a pretty clean transfer and only some mild grain to deal with.

Extras: The review copy I recieved only contained a trailer. The retail version looks to be the same apart from the inclusion of a stills gallery - joy!

Visit North American for more info.