I should hate this 2009 version of The Stepfather more than I do, instead I'm just "meh" about the whole thing and its mediocrity as it's yet another in a cycle of lame, teen-targeted remakes from Screen Gems, a company I've become accustomed referring to as "Where Sony's outcasts go to die". Much like the re-dos of When a Stranger Calls and Prom Night, what's on display here is a toned down PG-13 waste of time which would make a less forgiving genre fan than I scream for the blood of those involved. And they really wouldn't have to look far since writer J.S. Cardone and director Nelson McCormick also bumbled their way through Prom Night.

Obviously it's quite difficult to separate oneself from Terry O'Quinn and his iconic performance in the 1987 original, and Dylan Walsh doesn't do anything here to reduce that association, but the target audience here is probably more familiar with O'Quinn for his work on J.J. Abrams' popular television series "Lost". Walsh seems to be trying his best to balance an All-American step dad vibe with borderline, creeping psychosis (which he usually portrays using various glares at people) but he's not given a lot to do here apart from shove a few people underwater and try to act menacing in a silly finale that, like the rest of the movie, lacks any form of suspense - something that McCormick also couldn't do in Prom Night.

Things start much along the same lines as Joseph Ruben's original as we first meet our nutty family man changing his appearance after he's killed off his current family on Christmas day. He moves his search for nuclear family bliss to Portland, Oregon where he targets single mom Susan (Sela Ward) and her two pre-teen kids in a supermarket. Fast forward to six months later and David, as he's calling himself, has integrated himself into the family and gotten engaged to Susan.

Everything seems to be going well, at least until Susan's eldest son, Michael (Penn Badgley) returns home from military school. Eventually, Michael starts feeling weird vibes about the new live-in not-quite dad and, despite girlfriend Kelly (Amber Heard) trying to convince him otherwise all the time, decides to find out the truth about his mother's soon-to-be husband. You know the rest of the drill and they've thrown in a few victims to be killed in bloodless ways on the way to the aforementioned dumb finish.

The Stepfather is yet more proof positive about the apparent cluelessness of major studios when it comes to genre fare. Content to recycle and rehash films of the past, as well as crank out numerous unneeded direct-to-DVD sequels, the Hollywood machine seems happy to ignore original material in pursuit of a quick buck and the fact this managed to make back a little more than half its smaller budget in its opening weekend assures this trend will, most likely, continue. So I've come to the conclusion it's really pointless for me to complain every time.

The main problem with what's on display here, apart from McCormick's inability to wring any sort of suspense out of the script is that I was pretty bored waiting for the film to go through the motions. By now the premise has been overdone so simply riding the coattails of one of the films that started the influx of similar thrillers isn't going to cut it. Besides, the original already had two fairly passable sequels so it didn't really need this as well.

As mentioned Walsh doesn't cut it here but he's not given a lot of help from co-stars who've spent a lot of time starring in various television series. Ward isn't given a lot to work with apart from look on unbelievingly while "ER" veteran Sherry Stringfield and Paige Turco (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II!) are given even less. Heard spends much of the running time either in her undies or a bikini so if you're feeling pervy that should appeal to you while Badgley, in a switch from the female protagonist played by b-movie favourite Jill Schoelen in the original, isn't that bad but isn't memorable either.

There's absolutely no reason for anyone who calls themselves a horror fan to bother with this pointless, ultimately listless remake. I myself wouldn't have bothered if not for the fact it was showing on the movie channel. Hard to believe that scripter Cardone once worked for Charles Band's Full Moon doing Shadowzone and Crash and Burn and judging from this, his other lame remake and 2006's "Lost Boys meets witchcraft" mutt The Covenant he needs to get back in touch with the low-budget campiness of his past. (Chris Hartley, 7/2/10)

Directed By: Nelson McCormick.
Written By: J.S. Cardone.

Starring: Dylan Walsh, Sela Ward, Penn Badgley, Amber Heard.