Director Gavin Wilding proves to us he hasn't learned a thing about making a horror movie with his newest, Spliced. After unleashing the terrible Christina's House on us in 1999 he's gone and made what's got to be one of the worst slasher movies in recent memory.

Liane Balaban plays a high school senior who's plagued by sleepwalking and nightmares because of her addiction to "fear" (which is explained to us by psychiatrist Ron Silver, a decent actor who must be slumming). In fact they want to hammer the fact she's so mentally unstable when it comes to fear that they open the movie with a dream sequence that has her sweet sixteen birthday cake bleeding when cut and having her dad chowing down on a bloody handful of baked delight.

So anyway, there's this new horror flick in town called "The Wisher" (which is also this movie's alternate title) which is breaking all sorts of box-office records everywhere and Balaban and her friends decide to go (which leads to "movie-in-a-movie" scenes so lame that if that's the movie breaking records then...) and soon there's a killer on the prowl that seems to have jumped directly from the screen to the real world and is granting all her wishes (like when she wishes for one of her friends to shut-up and said friend's tongue is promptly removed). And what a shitty looking killer it is all wrapped in rags with white face make-up and jagged glass claws that rip-off Freddy from the Nightmare On Elm Street movies.

I honestly can't find anything positive to say about this thing simply because it's so inept, the "scare" moments are done badly, and the finale probably ranks in the "top 5 worst finishes" ever (to find out how to stop the killer they decide they have to copy how it happens in the movie and proceed to download the thing in seconds flat - what kind of broadband is that? I want it!). That's Drew Lachey as the male lead, you might know his brother Nick from that terrible reality show Newlyweds with Jessica Simpson - and surprise, surprise he's the weakest actor here. (Chris Hartley, 10/25/04)

Directed By: Gavin Wilding.
Written By: Ellen Cook.

Starring: Ron Silver, Liana Balaban, Drew Lachey, Siri Baruc.

aka: The Wisher.