As the first original production from Camp Motion Pictures (who've brought such lost shot-on-VHS "classics" like Video Violence and Cannibal Campout to DVD), Splatter Beach wants badly to be a tongue-in-cheek homage to the 1960's Beach Party flicks and monster movies such as Humanoids From The Deep only to come across as exactly what it is: a cheap, made-in-under-three-days effort that doesn't have nearly enough of the splatter of the title or campiness to make it anything more than a passable time.

Things are pretty old in the humour department right from the get go as the scrolling disclaimer declares that the movie "shouldn't be watched by anyone", it's a joke I've seen numerous times before but at least it's followed directly after by a nubile lass showering and being attacked by a green, fish-like monster - which is, pleasingly enough, just your standard "guy in a suit" creature. It's a promising opening scene that serves up more than the rest of the movie (save for a decent decapitation scene) delivers.

After a credits sequence that sports some simple cartoon animation I dug we're introduced to a group of friends who are going to be spending the weekend on the beach partying and getting laid. Well, at least Rodney (Brice Kennedy) and girlfriend Tonya (Erika Smith) are. As for the geeky Rupert (Dave Fife) he's more concerned with looking into the rumours of a sea creature stalking the area in order to turn it into a great news story that will help in his journalism class.

Turns out the rumours of the monster are quite true as a bunch of the locals who've happened to go a bit too close to the water start to get killed by our scaly beast. There's the fisherman who has his face clawed-up, the bikini-clad girl who's attacked in the water, and various other unlucky victims. If they'd only of listened to the doom saying Tess (Erin Brown, known to most B-movie fans as Misty Mundae) who's been warning them about what's lurking in the water.

Since his friends are more interested in having sex and joining in on the party on the beach where a poor surfing themed band (the makers obvious "nod" to the Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello movies of the 60's) are playing it falls to Rupert to team-up with Tess to stop the monster from killing more people.

Clocking in at barely over and hour minus the credits, Splatter Beach is a movie that probably benefits from being over quickly. It's short running time means that the mix of mostly junky jokes and hokey attack scenes doesn't give the viewer enough time to get completely tired of it. Add in the fact that the cast generally does fine in their roles with Kennedy amusing as the "wigger" character, VanSant bringing just the right amount of silliness as the constantly weight-lifting Duke and Smith just being nice to look at, as well as the few mild chuckles that are scattered throughout (my favourite being the dialogue exchange between Rupert and Duke that has VanSant's characters asking for the car keys before admitting he can't drive, to which Rupert says: "if you can't drive why'd you want the keys?" and is answered with, "cause I'm cool...") and you could do a lot worse than what's on display here.

It's a harmless flick that's padded with footage from Roger Corman's 1961 stinker Creature From The Haunted Sea as well as a break for a music number that recaps the film's events up to that point but under the direction of the Polonia brothers (Mark and John who've been making shoestring flicks since debuting with 1987's Splatter Farm) it's okay for what it is - it's just too bad there isn't more bloodshed, skin and goofy moments to make it worth your while. (Chris Hartley, 9/9/07)

Directed By: Mark Polonia, John Polonia.
Written By: John Polonia.

Starring: Erin Brown, Erika Smith, Dave Fife, Brice Kennedy.

Picture Ratio: Full Frame.

Picture Quality: Due to its low-budget nature Splatter Beach does have a few fuzzy spots throughout the transfer but it still manages to look decent enough on disc and is perfectly acceptable.

Extras: Camp has gone out of their way to put a whole slew of special features on this disc.

There's a behind-the-scenes featurette that's a bit brief at under ten minutes, a spotlight on the Polonia brothers taken from the public access show "'round the County" which offers good background on the pair and is hosted by co-star VanSant, the extremely awful "Surfin' Cadaver" video by Jon McBride (the song is worse than the video, if you can believe it), 2 fake commercials intended to be used in the film, the original opening, the original "Riptides" music sequence, a profile on twelve-year-old Anthony Polonia and his first short film "Lethal Nightmare", the standard trailer vault, an early 58 minute effort from the Polonia's entitled "Hallucinations" which is pretty messed up and hard to explain, and it's all rounded out with a commentary track with the Polonia's and VanSant which offers an okay look at how they filmed the movie in under a week.

As an added bonus, Camp have also packed a second disc that's a CD of the movie's soundtrack. If you have a bent for somewhat crappy "surfer rock" then you might enjoy it, I myself can't see myself playing it again.

Visit Camp Motion Pictures for more info.