You can always tell what you're going to get from the latest, usually weak, Seduction Cinema spoof when it runs a softcore lesbian scene underneath the opening credits.

And it's all ho-hum from there as this loose parody of Universal's box office hit Van Helsing (which, granted, is less watchable than this is!) that stars Erika Smith as a geeky descendant of the famous vampire hunter who has to go after vampiress Darian Caine with the help of her undead zombie uncle (played by Bob McKay who steals what little show there is and manages to amuse almost everytime he shows-up). Of course, this being a Seduction movie, there's lots of girl-on-girl tongue wrestling and simulated naughtiness.

If you're a fan of this type of movie then you know what to expect going in: low-brow humour (although there are a few mild chuckles during the diner scene), an abundance of naked female flesh (they've even gone so far as to crib scenes from a few of their other movies to make the T&A count higher), and a ridiculous "let's top all our other fairly dull sex scenes" finale involving six of the cast members.

Yeah, this is all good and fine for Seduction Cinema's customers (who are really just in it for cheap titilation anyway), but for horror movie fans you'd be best to stay far away from this.

Visit Seduction Cinema for more information and to order. (Chris Hartley, 11/10/04)

Directed By: Max Von Diesel.
Written By: Max Von Diesel, Clancy Fitzsimmons, Bruce G. Hallenbeck.

Starring: Erike Smith, Darian Caine, AJ Khan, Andrea Davis.

Picture Ratio: Full Frame.

Picture Quality: Pretty clean looking with decent clarity. Nothing spectacular, but completely acceptable.

Extras: Seduction has seen fit to include another of it's vampire spoofs with 1998's Vampire's Seduction even going so far as to have a commentary track for it. They've also thrown in six deleted scenes, a "behind-the-scenes" featurette, and trailers for twenty-seven(!) of their other releases.