Before The Asylum made it their mission to churn out low budget and low quality "mockbusters" and bad CGI heavy monster fare for SyFy such as Sharknado and 2-Headed Shark Attack they produced crap like Scarecrow. It's just your typical early 2000s slasher flick that's cheaply made, tries way too hard to have a sense of humour, has a soundtrack filled with generic alternative bands, and a villain that somehow was brought back for two(!) sequels.

Every small town has a secret and Emerald Grove is no exception. It's from three guys who decide to get stoned in a nearby cornfield that we hear the story of Lester Dwervick (Tim Young). A socially awkward high schooler (who looks to be about thirty) and wannabe artist, Lester is constantly picked on by his peers. When he's not being pushed around by his fellow students, shit on by the bitch English teacher, and being snubbed for the prom despite pulling up on one sweet ass Razor scooter (yes, I am being sarcastic) he's dealing with having to live in a trailer park with an alcoholic whore of a mother. Yeah, Lester doesn't have it very good.

After multiple scenes of him being harassed, a few poorly done revenge fantasy moments, and having the pretty Judy (Tiffany Shepis) become his defender, Lester soon falls victim to his mom's latest bar pick-up (sporting an obviously fake moustache and bad redneck accent) who chokes him to death in the cornfield - thereby transferring his soul into the scarecrow that's right beside him.

From here we get ourselves a resurrected straw-filled Lester who has become a wisecracking, back-flipping killer that uses a couple of kung fu moves and two handheld scythes to kill off all those that bullied him when he was alive. I can't make this shit up, folks. He actually does a bunch of parkour-like flips and roundhouse kicks! It's the fact they decided to make him this crazy karate slasher that is by far the most entertaining thing here with the deaths generally being not too bad (I did like the "head pinning" moment) and our scarecrow's mask is also pretty decent. It's just too bad we have to slog through mostly random scenes of pointless talking in the meantime.

Even though he looks about fifteen years too old for high school, Young fits the role pretty well just because he's so scrawny and slight. That's not to say he's very good, but he looks the part. Not that any of the cast is particularly good. The exception being Indie scream queen Shepis who is actually quite engaging and just doesn't take any crap. However, she keeps fully clothed, just in case any of you were wondering.

Director Emmanuel Kier dedicates the film to Dario Argento and is seen on the DVD special features saying that if it wasn't for the works of Wes Craven and Tobe Hooper he'd probably be a harsh drug addict. That's pretty depressing, dude. It also makes me feel somewhat bad telling you he doesn't have a modicum of the style of all the influences he mentions. Scarecrow is a pretty inept and poorly made flick. I've definitely seen worse and I admit to getting some mild enjoyment out of our killer's antics and I did dig the Richard Band inspired musical score by Vincent Gillioz. I just can't recommend what amounts to yet another shitty 00s slasher flick and that's even after considering that the third entry, Scarecrow Gone Wild, promises a slew of spring break mayhem. (Chris Hartley, 9/23/14)

Directed By: Emmanuel Kier.
Written By: Jason White, Emmanuel Kier, Bill Cunningham.

Starring: Tiffany Shepis, Roxanna Bina, Jen Richey, John Moore.