Since the new releases of the Universal movies, I've been enjoying the grandeur of the classic horror movies and rewatching some of my favorite films, then I watched Rodentz. I suppose I should have known by looking at that cover the trouble I'd be in for, but by now you know that didn't stop me. That's right horror fans, I have sat through Rodentz, pray you never have to.

It seems rat movies in general are trash, be they old foreign trash (Rats: Night Of Terror), newer direct to video trash (the creatively titled Rats) or even the bigger budget studio release (2003's dismal Willard remake). Let me be the first to tell you, Rodentz makes them look good.

The story involves a pair of overly sloppy (and by that I mean so unkempt it's unbelievable) scientists that are researching rats and let them get a hold of some nasty serum that not only makes them vicious, but also makes one of them giant. As if this alone wasn't bad enough, a group of jackass "teens" shows up at the laboratory to meet their friend and soon becomes rat chow.

What can I really say about Rodentz? If it had been done in a different style, it might have actually been funny, but the filmmakers obviously took this material seriously and thought they were making a scary movie. What's left is a boring mess that's only highlight is a guy in a rat suit (only a highlight because it looks so bad its unintentionally funny) and a painfully cliché ending that's begging for a sequel.

I don't think I have to tell you to avoid this one. (Red, 5/26/04)

Directed By: Miles Feldman.
Written By: Serge Rodnunsky.

Starring: Allen Lee Haff, Leah Rowan, Alexandra Townsend, Guy Vieg.