Another one for the "Fast Forward" club. And a cult item if only because it's written by a one Edward D. Wood, Jr.

Our favourite cryptic speaking pal Criswell stars (well, he mostly sits around watching) as the "emperor of the dead" who along with his Elvira-like vampire, wolfman and mummy sidekicks watches a bunch of "lost souls" dance around quite nekkid so he can pass judgment on them. Also along is a married couple who were heading to the cemetery so the boyfriend can get inspiration for a horror novel who get captured and are forced to watch.

Loaded with no less than ten(!) totally unerotic topless dance numbers (did they scour the nudie bars in the area?), this virtually plotless piece of celluloid rubbish isn't even worth watching for the minimal and laughable dialogue, the scene that has the wolfman and mummy discussing snakes (apparently for comic relief purposes) or even the mutiple nude women (which you'll swear are the same three over-and-over again).

Apparently Wood based this on his novel, but judging from what's on display here it makes you wonder if it wasn't just a one page short story.

But if you must, at least get amusement out of the following: Criswell stalking through a fake graveyard holding a cape over his face and reading off cue cards, the slaves in striped red shorts and gladiator head/arm bands that dip a dancer in a boiling pot for her to come out painted gold (to symbolize her being made into 'gold'), the completely inane dance numbers (the bride one where it looks more like she's trying to swim away from the movie than dance is my favourite), the meltdown in the finale and pathetic twist ending.

The best dialogue exchange has the boyfriend saying, "They wouldn't dare put both of us in the same grave? Would they?"; to which the girlfriend replies, "I hope not, I hate you".

Directed By: A.C. Stephen.
Written By: Edward D. Wood, Jr.

Starring: Criswell, Fawn Silver, Pat Garringer, William Bates.