"It's Ron's dick... minus Ron". Once that line was uttered in the trailer, I was sold. Of course, I was pretty much sold when said monstrous, detached penis left a gaping hole in the back of one of its victim's head. The brainchild of the Fields trio of brothers, One-Eyed Monster could have easily been a one-note, one-joke horror/comedy but easily rises above that due to its droll sense of humour and a cast who's completely in on it. It's an enjoyable enough 84 minutes that offers up a penis monster that tunnels through the snow, someone being split in two, and veteran actor Charles Napier as the grizzled Vietnam vet character (shades of Quint in Jaws) who delivers an overlong monologue about his past encounter with an alien possessed pecker.

The crew of a porno flick are heading into the mountains to film their newest "epic" with legendary, aging, adult film stars Ron Jeremy and Veronica Hart (playing themselves) as part of the production. It's during the ride out to the remote cabin we're introduced to the slutty upcoming starlet Angel (Carmen Hart), the nerdy T.J. (Caleb Mayo), the enthusiastic yet dumb rookie actor Lance (Bart Fletcher), and the rest of the gang. It gives the Fields brothers the chance to set up their tongue-in-cheek tone as well as letting Jeremy poke fun at himself and give an upbeat, motivational speech that ends with talk of him giving himself fellatio.

Once they get out to the cabin its business-as-usual but during a late-night pee break outside the cabin, a meteor hits Ron. It seems that said space junk is actually an alien life form that proceeds to take control of Ron's most famous "organ" that, after injuring Hart while filming a scene (that leads to the absurdly funny moment where they have to stop her bleeding by creating a makeshift giant tampon), proceeds to go on an orifice-filling rampage as the actors and crew are killed off one-by-one. This leads to an over-the-top finale set at a nearby radio tower that brings back the elder Hart and her special skill using certain, unmentionable, muscles to save the day.

One-Eyed Monster gets a lot more mileage out of its off-colour premise than I expected it to and doesn't hesitate to make as many juvenile "dick jokes" as it can. It's as ridiculous as you'd imagine it could be but they've also played it with enough mock seriousness to amuse. It's really difficult to not have some fun with a movie where they come up with a plan to use T.J.'s celebrity vagina simulating invention to make our penis beast ejaculate so it's weakened enough for them to eliminate.

Making a secondary career of appearing in various low-budget flicks, Jeremy is surprisingly likeable in his limited screen-time and comes across much better here than he did playing the murderer in Andre the Butcher. The attractive Carmen Hart supplies the only naked skin here and gets the honour of being the first victim of Ron's rampaging member - it's just weird how a movie about porn doesn't have much nudity. Meanwhile Mayo resembles a young Eric Stoltz and Fletcher steals the show as the clueless lunk-headed Lance. I should also mention it was great seeing Napier, even though I felt he was the weakest link - but his character's plan to attract the monster by stringing used panties up in a window is still genius.

As one of the few horror flicks to play with the idea of genetalia as a weapon (Killer Condom, Teeth, and Bad Biology are a few more), One-Eyed Monster is an entertaining time that mixes together two of my favourite pastimes - smut and horror - into a pretty tasty smorgasbord of ludicrousness. (Chris Hartley, 5/26/10)

Directed By: Adam Fields.
Written By: Jordan Fields, Scott Fields, Adam Fields.

Starring: Amber Benson, Jason Graham, Jeff Denton, Caleb Mayo.

Picture Ratio: 1.66:1 Widescreen.

Picture Quality: There's nothing to complain about with the transfer here as it's a clean picture with good clarity.

Extras: Liberation have given One-Eyed Monster a decent batch of special features here as we get a trailer, 3 teaser trailers, a photo gallery, four deleted scenes with optional commentary, a jokey featurette entitled "Spotlight On: The Dick Wrangler" that's a waste of time, an engaging 36 minute interview with Jeremy and Hart called "Porn Yesterday" (though Jeremy does have the tendency to cut her off a lot), an outtake reel dubbed "More Celebrity Holes", and a commentary track with the Fields brothers that turns out to be a rather entertaining listen.

Visit Liberation Entertainment for more info.