I'm going to save you from potentially wasting your time with Maggie. Yes, Arnold Schwarzenegger stars in it. No, he doesn't pummel random undead creatures and crack bad one-liners after dispatching them. Instead he's the main focus in this deathly slow zombie drama - you read that correctly - as a distraught father having to deal with his teenage daughter being bitten and slowly (much too slowly, if you ask me) changing into an infected, mindless zombie. It's an interesting premise but just because it's trying to do something new doesn't mean it should be praised.

The film establishes its grim tone early on and it's nudged along by some bleak looking production design and swelling music constantly droning on in the background. It's obvious that the world as we know it has gone to shit and it's in this changed America that we meet Wade (Schwarzenegger). After getting a phone call from daughter Maggie (Abigail Breslin) where she tells him not to try and find her because she's been bitten by a zombie and has gotten as far away from her loved ones as possible, Wade is unable to turn off his fatherly instincts. Eventually he tracks her down at a quarantine hospital and brings her back to the homestead in order to protect her and make sure her last moments before turning are spent with family.

Amongst all this they have to deal with some scattered zombie attacks, Wade and his daughter have to make big decisions on what actions to take before she turns, and Maggie basically gets sicker and sicker while dealing with mortality issues as well as her friends and neighbours who have survived the pandemic but are as damaged as she is. There are an awful lot of these introspective attempts at dramatic impact laid on pretty thick by writer John Scott 3 but they just didn't resonate with me. As I said, taking the sub-genre and trying to inject genuine emotion into it should be commended when we're stuck in a cycle where every third horror flick is about zombies but it's something "The Walking Dead" does better - and that's coming from a guy who hasn't watched it for a few seasons due to suffering fatigue at its overkill of talking and minimal zombie action. My reasons for giving up on that show are exactly what doesn't work for me here. None of the drama actually resonated with me, it's paced like molasses and nothing much really happens.

Like most who grew up on a steady diet of Arnie beating up and shooting tons of evil bad guys, it was the simple presence of him that made me watch this in the first place and, you know what?, he doesn't do too badly. Obviously he's harder to take in a serious role, especially with that thick accent for a character that's supposed to an All-American farmer type, but I wasn't as put off here as I would've been if fellow action star Steven Seagal took the role. Breslin, who first got real recognition in Little Miss Sunshine and was fun in Zombieland, also handles things pretty well. She brings just enough angst to Maggie to work even if her actions are suspect at times. Generally the entire cast is solid even if the movie isn't.

Given its downbeat tone and premise, I really wanted to dig Maggie. It could have been a movie that injects humanity into an overdone subgenre but instead falls victim to the aforementioned pacing and just not being very engaging. It's sure to take a place as a curious footnote in Schwarzenegger's career and director Henry Hobson certainly nails the washed out, depressing imagery required of the story but if I want a zombie movie with real characters, real emotions, and impact I won't hesitate to revisit George A. Romero's original Dead trilogy instead - and so should you. (Chris Hartley, 2/14/16)

Directed By: Henry Hobson.
Written By: John Scott 3.

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Abigail Breslin, Joely Richardson, Douglas M. Griffin.