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1990 - 60m.

The spirit of the scream queen phenomenon of the late 80s is perfectly encapsulated in this release. Of all of the scream queens, Linnea Quigley has been the most self aware and has seemingly had the most fun with her popularity by poking fun at herself and her movies on a regular basis. This was made at the peak of Linnea's success and she knew exactly who her audience was (horny dudes) and what they wanted (boobs and monsters). Teaming up with director Kenneth J. Hall (Evil Spawn), Linnea put together the ultimate party tape for her fans combining footage from a number of her movies with scenes of her performing exercise routines in skimpy outfits and finishing off with a lingerie party that turns into a slasher movie spoof. Although this was shot over a weekend and has no real technical savvy, it succeeds at allowing Linnea's likably sarcastic persona to shine and provides a glimpse of an era that is long gone but fondly remembered by b-movie fans. Keep in mind there is a high nostalgia factor present on this one and if you have no idea who Linnea Quigley is and you are unfamiliar with the work of directors like David DeCoteau and Fred Olen Ray, you may think this is a ridiculous waste of time.

The movie opens with a shower scene while the opening credits play which sets the tone quickly. Although this is the only gratuitous nudity on display, fans should not worry as there is still plenty more titillation to come. Linnea looks great with her crimped hair and takes a shower on camera like nobody else. The movie then leads into the first exercise sequence where Linnea does a workout in front of a fireplace while clad in fishnets and a metal-studded bra. This is interspersed with voiceovers of her thoughts, scenes from a number of her popular movies at the time, and pervy shots of her body as she performs her routine. The next sequence features Linnea out for a jog getting some cardio time in. Her jog leads her past a cemetery that happens to have the dead rising from their graves who shamble after her. Linnea arrives back at her house only to be trapped beside her swimming pool as the zombies approach. Rather than take off, Linnea criticizes the zombies on how they have "let themselves go" and proceeds to lead them in a workout routine that is what this flick is most known for. This sequence goes on a bit too long and it doesn't help that the synthesizer music is repetitive and annoying but it is still a pretty funny scene if you think about it.

After all of the strenuous exercising, Linnea decides to relax with her friends at home eating popcorn and watching horror movies. This is another excuse to cut in scenes from the flicks where the rights were easily attainable and incorporate another workout routine (this time with five girls in various types of lingerie). After more pervy shots of the ladies doing suggestive exercises, the flick decides to take a turn and become a slasher flick where the girls one by one think it is a good idea to go off on their own in the house with a potential threat. This part of the movie is short enough to be funny as it does not allow the joke to get old and again lets the audience know that Linnea and the girls are very self-aware of how they are seen onscreen. There is also some mild gore (including a lengthy stabbing and a decapitation) before the killer is revealed and the movie wraps up.

This movie will satisfy those looking for a trip down memory name as well as teenagers looking for a sexy thrill and people who are curious about the types of movies that I grew up loving. This is more of a time capsule than a great movie but I still find it amusing to pop in once in a while to remember just what a fun time period this was for this particular subgenre. Be warned that this is more something you would play in the background than sit down and make a night of unless of course you cannot access the internet and need some visual stimulation for, um, other activities. Look for Cynthia Garris (wife of Stephen King adapter Mick) as the blonde who ends up losing her head to a toilet and Kathi Obrecht (Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama) as one of the zombies. (Josh Pasnak, 11/28/14)

Directed By: Hal Kennedy (Kenneth J. Hall).
Written By: Hal Kennedy (Kenneth J. Hall).

Starring: Linnea Quigley, B. Jane Holzer (Cynthia Garris), Amy Hunt, Victoria Nesbitt.