review archive - articles - podcast - contact us

 

August 8th, 2000

"NOTED HACKS UNITE!"


Fred Olen Ray. Jim Wynorski. Charles Band.

Those three names have a special power with genre fans to cause cringes and groans. They are directors known for making movies for cheap and ripping-off from other, more sucessful movies.

One once worked as a "trailer cutter" for Roger Corman, the other plays in a second-rate rock band and the other takes a "based on an idea by" credit on almost every one of his companies films.

It is here we will "recommend" three films by these filmmakers who have gotten the word "hack" applied to their name by various critics. And while one (Band) has bordered on credibility at times, he's still a "hack" in a loose definition of the term.

Chopping Mall [1986] is probably Jim Wynorski's most accessible film. Meant to be a horror/comedy this tells of a group of teenagers out to party afterhours in a large mall who falls victims to the all-new security robots that patroll the premises.

Well it's not long before these "Killbots" (the films original title) start slaughtering all our horny young teens even, in one of the cooler scenes, lasering off one of the girls heads.

Made with an obvious eye to campy and taking itself not at all seriously, this is Wynorski in his element. Granted he makes more crappy movies than he does good, but when he takes the time to make a satirical and hammy premise he usually makes it work.

Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers [1987] is by no means a good movie. In fact, it's quite poor. But since it's Fred Olen Ray's most well-known film (if only for its title), it also sports the killer B-movie cast of Linnea Quigley, Michelle Bauer and Gunnar Hansen.

Jay Richardson (who's become something of a B-movie stalwart himself now) plays a detective hired to track down a couple's daughter (Quigley). Soon he finds her stripping in a club and that she's part of a feminist-like chainsaw worshipping group headed by the imposing Hansen.

Good for seeing Bauer strip down to nothing (yes!) and chainsaw a guy to death after plastic wrapping the room, to see Quigley's chainsaw duel in the finale and just to marvel at how ridiculous the entire thing is, this isn't Ray's best film. But at least it's not as bad as, say, Alien Dead.

Puppetmaster [1989] was one of the first movies (and is the most sequeled) to come from Charles Band's Full Moon Entertainment. And while the directing chores went to David Schmoeller (who's shown a bit of competence helming this, Curse IV and Crawlspace) you can tell Charlie had a hand in the proceedings.

A group of psychics head to a ominous hotel after their friend dies and are killed off by a group of evil puppets (who would later go good by about part 3) that includes "Blade" (who sports a sharp-knifed hand), "Pinhead" (he of small head but massive strength) and the drill-headed "Tunneler".

Entertaining, classy (for a low-budgeter) and with some neat special effects; this was a bit eye opener for horror fans who thought Full Moon may just become the source for entertaining, if familiar, genre pictures.

As for Full Moon, after losing their contract with Paramount to distribute their films and going along the bankruptcy trail they have seemed to rebound; but with an emphasis on continuing tired series (who needs a Subspecies 5?) and with little distribution outside of America, it's hard for fans to really follow the company.

So who's the biggest hack of them all? That would be Ray. The reason is how fast he jumps on trends and cranks out a pretty bland and/or weak clone of whatever is popular at the moment. Wynorski is a man who can make okay films from time to time if he can get over his obsession with naked women. And Band is too busy handing out directing jobs to really get fully judged.

Just pick-up the three titles here and decide for yourself.