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2006 - 89m.

Candy Stripers is a good example of low-budget cannibalism. The makers of it have obviously seen 2004's Decoys and the makers of that had evidently seen Species years prior. So yeah, this is just another "alien babes want to breed and kill people" kind of movie. And while it's not as fun as the aforementioned movies, or even Tim Kincaid's 1986 sleaze-a-thon Breeders for that matter, it's not quite as bad as you might be expecting but it doesn't nearly have enough skin, alien mayhem, or comedy as needed to make it more than the passable and uninspired time it is.

Things open poorly as a blind girl and her African-American companion are driving along the highway getting ready to meet their friends. After exchanging a few bad lines of dialogue they come across a car flipped upon into roof. Not only does the car belong to one of their pals, some sort of creature also attacks them. Upon entering the hospital, our sightless victim ends-up passing the alien being onto one of the candy stripers there (this is the kind of hospital just filled with sexy, former Playboy Playmates nurses - it's the kind of place you'd purposely hurt yourself to get into) after she tells her to "kiss me" and proceeds to French kiss her way to infection.

And now it becomes time to introduce some new victims into the mix as we meet star basketball player Matt (Brian Lloyd) during an intense, and silly as Hell, game of hoops with a rival school. Things get out of hand and Matt is admitted to the same hospital where all the candy stripers have now been turned into sex-starved, lollipop sucking aliens. Also on hand is Matt's tomboy-ish friend, and eventual mild love interest, Cherie (Tori White), his snobby ex-girlfriend Crystal (Nicole Rayburn), and other random victims who are seduced by our stripers and wrapped in cocoons that resemble fake cobwebs you might buy from a dollar store at Halloween to decorate your window panes.

This leads to a final third where they're trapped in the hospital, our sugar-addicted aliens are out to take over all of mankind, and insulin (?!) is the only way to stop them. It's during these scenes we get to see a few heart rips, fellatio gone bad, and scenes of alien demise that look like those "Twisted Whiskers" cards you can buy at Hallmark.

Everyone involved with Candy Stripers weren't taking things at all seriously, and it shows, but their attempts to have a campy approach just doesn't feel right. It just seems to be lacking in all the things that can elevate your standard cheapie b-movie to true epic status and while it does have some nudity and a few chuckles, I just got the impression the makers were trying really, really hard to be over-the-top but just couldn't deliver the goods. What we're left with is a mildly entertaining time that is only really worth checking out (like I did) when it's playing on one of the various movie channels.

It's pretty cheaply made, and it shows in the fairly low-scale effects, but the acting could've been worse with Lloyd acceptable in the lead, White cute enough in the "heroine" role, and William Edwards, Jr. isn't bad as Matt's smart-assed friend, Joey. Even the Playmates playing aliens here (Deanna Brooks, Serria Tawan, etc.) aren't too bad - even if their roles consist of slobbering on lollipops and wearing low-cut striped dresses. Only Rayburn comes across poorly here as I found her performance to border on annoying at times.

Overall, Candy Stripers is just another standard, low-budget horror flick. Its only "point of interest" (as it were) is that the principal people involved in its creation are all females. Which may explain why it's tamer than expected but is also one of the few instances of women making genre movies - with the most notable one being the underrated early 80's slasher flick, The Slumber Party Massacre. (Chris Hartley, 3/17/09)

Directed By: Kate Robbins.
Written By: Jill Garson, Kate Robbins.

Starring: Brian Lloyd, Tori White, Deanna Brooks, Nicole Rayburn.