Here we have another waste of life courtesy of Chemical Burn Entertainment. My experience with the company has been pretty poor and they are on par with The Asylum with having good marketing designed to sucker b-movie fans into buying terrible movies. I admit that I have fallen for this ruse many times now but I am getting wise to the formula. At this point, I would never pay for a Chemical Burn title as they have betrayed my trust one time too many. Now, I just watch these titles when I am feeling masochistic. My last experience with this company was the atrocious Fast Zombies with Guns and I didn't think it could get much worse. Now that I have seen House of Sin, I know that there is always something just as bad lurking around the corner. If you ever want to torture me, chain me up in a room full of naked overweight people eating turkey legs and force me to watch these two flicksvfollowed by a Hugh Grant film festival.

House of Sin has no plot which always annoys me. There is this sleazy guy who calls himself The Mage who allows people to act out their kinky fantasies in his home. His sidekick is a bald guy named Paul who narrates the movie. A variety of people enter and leave the living room of the place while The Mage spews philosophical bullshit in a Charles Manson kind of way. The movie alternates between the intellectual posing scenes and montages that feature naked ladies writhing around to music than goes from gothic hard rock to Brit pop that sounds like a poor man's Oasis to alt-country to mainstream sounding female-singer pop songs. Now this wouldn't be so bad if I has made a conscious choice to watch a Playboy video but I was expecting to be watching a movie with a narrative and not an extended music video. Making matters worse, the montages are filled with editing wankery featuring repeated dissolves that do not allow any one image to stay on the screen for more than a few seconds and at times prevents you from even seeing what is going on.

This movie is so full of weird edits and post-production effects that at times I felt like the creative team was trying to piece together a bunch of footage that they filmed when "auditioning" young women to model for them. Many of the women have no lines and have no purpose in the flick other than to shake their ass. The strange thing is that they get a lot of screen time that does nothing to advance the movie forward. I found myself asking why these women would agree to do this as there could not have been a script available for them to read. The producers must be extremely charming to be able to get these girls to strip down for their "film" and must talk a really good game. Viewers should also be warned that some the rampant nudity is not necessarily erotic unless spiky chin piercings, big butts, and cross-dressing dudes are your thing. I will tell you right now that at no point in this flick was I turned on in any way. I just wanted it to stop.

I can't talk about the performances because there was no emotion on display and the only conflict was when the boyfriend of one of the ladies would show up and beat on Paul or The Mage. The character of the slave girl was wearing only a thong for the majority of the movie and although she was nice to look at, we did not learn anything about her character. A Christian woman (who eerily looks like a couple of past middle-aged co-workers I have had) joins the sleazy clan within a few minutes of meeting The Mage while Paul surmises "how did he change a Christian woman who was coming to complain into a voyeuristic lesbian" on the voiceover. Another scene involves a woman who reminded me of Shelley Duvall arriving at the house and then making out with the slave girl while eating eclairs. If any of this sounds interesting, fun, or erotic, it is not. This whole movie is a complete waste of time and energy. If I really wanted to see sexy girls with no clothes on, I would join the Suicide Girls website, not piss away my life on crap like this. Thanks for stealing an hour of my life, this is one I really wish I could have back. (Josh Pasnak, 3/9/14)

Directed By: Philip Gardiner.
Written By: Philip Gardiner.

Starring: John Symes, Nik Spencer, Sarah Dunn, Andrew Aden.