Ladies and gentlemen, please check your brain in with a valet before entering the theatre - it will not be necessary. Based on the Tecmo video game series DOA: Dead Or Alive is all about the fighting. There's little consideration given to plot here as they've given veteran martial arts director Cory Yuen (Transporter) carte blanche to stage as many over-the-top, wire assisted fights as he can cram into the movie's 83 minute running time.

If you've managed to catch any sort of martial arts movie in the past few years then you'll know the set-up here. Basically it's all about the title martial arts tournament that's being put on by millionaire Donovin (Eric Roberts, looking silly with long, greying hair) on his private island. We have the typical cast of characters who are introduced early by Yuen by giving each character an action sequence that is quickly followed by the arrival of a ninja star looking invitation (and a "title card" giving their name and specialty).

There's the ninja princess Kasumi (Devon Aoki), the American ex-wrestler Tina (Jaime Pressly), the British crook Christie (Holly Valance) and various others who each have their own reasons for going. For Kasumi it's to average her brother's death (while being hunted by an assassin sent to follow her), Tina wants to prove herself as a fighter and Christie is just out to rob Donovin's vault. It also doesn't hurt that there's a ten million dollar prize on the line. There's also something about Donovin using nano-bot technology to clone the combatant's fighting skills but the less said about this pointless sub-plot the better.

After the briefest of set-ups, the script by J.F. Lawton, Adam Gross and Seth Gross generally degenerates into non-stop action as plentiful stylized, hyperactive fight scenes seemingly occur every five minutes or so with their quick cut edits, slo-motion moments and even some health meters and "KO" graphics to wink at the fans of the video games. In fact, DOA: Dead Or Alive plays out exactly like a video game and manages to actually be about as mindless as its source material. In the end, this isn't a bad thing; just don't go into this expecting any sort of plot.

If you've played the games (I prefer the Virtua Fighter and Soul Calibur games) then you know there's little to them apart from ogling pixelated girls in bikinis (heck, there was a volleyball spin-off!) but it's obvious the makers of this movie knew it too even taking the time to have a scene where some of our fighters take a break to play (what else?) beach volleyball. They haven't gone out of their way to try and give Tecmo's game some sort of deep back story or anything they've just delivered what fans expect: non-stop, hyper-kinetic action.

Hiring Yuen to direct turns out to be a good choice as his staging of the fights does offer up some pretty cool moments (check out that "mirror split" scene) and lots of energy. They might not be the most realistic looking fights (I still blame Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon for ushering these types of martial arts action sequences) but they're entertaining to watch - apart from the moments involving Robert's Donovin character in the finale as they're by far the worst fight sequences here.

DOA: Dead Or Alive is exactly what you expect it to be: dumb and filled with action. It has a competent director at the helm, the cast is likeable enough (though Pressly is the least convincing fighter in the cast) and there's lots of eye candy (in fights and the computer assisted effects and scenery) to keep you occupied. Sure, the ending is wimpy and the script is thin, but if you're looking for a karate flick to waste a rainy afternoon this should fit the bill quite nicely. Just don't forget to pick-up your brain from the coat check area when it's over. (Chris Hartley, 6/24/07)

Directed By: Cory Yuen.
Written By: J.F. Lawton, Adam Gross, Seth Gross.

Starring: Jaime Pressly, Devon Aoki, Holly Valance, Sarah Carter.