Lorenzo Lamas is known for a lot of things. He's known for being the pretty boy on primetime soap opera Falcon Crest, he's known for pumping out a series of B-movies of varying quality of the years (personally, I still love the original Snake Eater movie), and he's known for once being married to the Bride Of Re-Animator herself, Kathleen Kinmont. But perhaps you don't know him for being a poorly rapping and dancing dervish of a B-Boy from the mean streets of New Yawk - at least that's what he tries and fails miserably to be as the title character in Body Rock, which is possibly the worst of the short-lived trend of urban breakdancing movies of the mid-80's.

Lorenzo plays "Chilly D", one of the main members of the 'Body Rock Crew' of street and club entertainers. They're apparently a fun bunch, or at least that what director Marcelo Epstein would have us believe as the opening scene of the movie has them doing a spray paint can wielding dancing along the New York streets before they take a time-out to tag a subway car with their names.

Looking for a way to bust out from the local clubs, Chilly and his gang manage to get an audition with a local music entrepreneur who's looking to start a fancy nightclub. This gives us one of many poor musical numbers as Lamas proves to us just how miscast he is by being forced to wear some of the worst 80's clothes (not sure how the person in charge of this wasn't fired) while doing a completely awful job of trying to rap and showing just how much he lacks rhythm. Yet somehow, even being the worst performer of the batch, he ends-up being offered a job at the club - but just him, not all his friends.

Not long after Chilly seems to have forgotten his street roots and is living the good life by wearing all the latest fashions, taking in as much excess as he can, hooking-up with a wealthy artist type, and even getting ready to record an album. Seems that Chilly's forgotten where he came from which gives writer Desmond Nakano the excuse to throw in some "tough lessons" for our badly dressed hero - that is in the moments where the movie manages to break away from a whole slew of badly staged musical numbers that involve neon paint, black lights, and a giant freaking boom box prop.

It's really hard to pick out what the worst thing about Body Rock is. Strike one just so happens to be Lamas and his complete inability to come across as "hood raised", but since we're pointing the finger here the main offender is scripter Nakano and director Epstein who take their subject matter way too seriously. It's a goddamn breakdancing movie! Sure, maybe Stan Lathan's Beat Street had it's serious moments, but if you're going to cash-in on the public's newfound love of urban dance you're probably best making it a lightweight and breezy time like Breakin' managed to be.

Plus the choreography just plain sucks - it's something this movie's peers did way better (who doesn't love the moment in the first Breakin' movie where Boogaloo Shrimp dances with the broom?) and the songs here can't hold a candle to the ones seen in Beat Street, which had the benefit of appearances from Doug E. Fresh, Melle Mel and the Furious Five, and The Treacherous Three (of which Kool Moe Dee was a member) - I do admit that the title song by Maria Vidal and "Vanishing Point" by Baxter Robertson rock as one 80's new wave inspired songs can.

Not surprisingly this was Epstein's only movie but at least Nakano managed to rebound and write a few decent movies with Last Exit To Brooklyn and American Me. And I'd be almost willing to say Lamas must be ashamed this is on his resume but then I had a glance at his filmography and changed my mind. (Chris Hartley, 12/7/07)

Directed By: Marcelo Epstein.
Written By: Desmond Nakano.

Starring: Lorenzo Lamas, Vicki Frederick, Cameron Dye, Seth Kaufman.

Picture Ratio: 1.85:1 Widescreen.

Picture Quality: Soft looking and shimmery this is a pretty low quality looking transfer from the usually dependable Anchor Bay. Sure, it's a 1984 movie from low-budget studio New World but a lot of their other movies have looked better in the past (even Mountaintop Motel Massacre did).

Extras: Just a lonely trailer, which is a good thing.