review archive - articles - podcast - contact us

 

1985 - 71m.

John Milus' Conan the Barbarian has a lot to answer for. Based on Robert E. Howard's cult swordsman, Conan's success opened the floodgates for countless imitators and rip-offs in the early 80s with such fare as the Italian made Ator the Fighting Eagle, Don Coscarelli's entertaining The Beastmaster, and B-movie maven Roger Corman's Deathstalker series taking what made Conan an intense swords 'n' sorcery flick for the Dungeons & Dragons set copying the basic premise, using the least amount of money possible, and delivering lots of low-budget insanity. Barbarian Queen, also a Corman production, is definitely one of the more fun of this ilk and it's mostly thanks to its goofy tone and Lana Clarkson in the lead role.

They bring the exploitation right from the get go as a girl picking flowers along a river is accosted by some sleazy baddies who then proceed to rape her - one of them even uttering the line, "Nothing like a virgin to brighten a man's morning". At the same time this is happening the nearby village is preparing for the wedding of their queen Amethea (Clarkson) but that's soon to be cut short when our rape-happy baddies turn out to be part of a raid headed by the evil Arrakur (Arman Chapman) and they murder their way through the village with the intention of kidnapping all the men to turn them into gladiators. This means that Amethea's soon-to-be-hubby Argan (Frank Zagarino) and sister, and opening victim, Taramis (Dawn Dunlap) are whisked away while our sword-swinging heroine fights off the horde in a sequence that not only offers up some silly fight scenes, lets us know you just don't mess with a woman on her wedding day and also proves that Clarkson looks pretty damn good in a loincloth.

With her village decimated and the two people she loves captured, Amethea soon teams up with a couple of female warriors and heads to the big city for some rip roaring revenge. This being a 71 minute sleaze fest that doesn't mean that on the way to a finale that trots out a plan to overthrow Arrakur and a brief battle to cap it all off there isn't a ton of the sloppily choreographed fights, goofy banter, and plentiful nudity we've come to see in the first place. There's even an inspired fight scene involving torches and a bizarre torture scene (with an awesome outcome) that's by far my favourite moment. I don't usually complain but, man, is the skin quotient here ridiculous! Pretty much every female cast member bares it all and all our male baddies seem to do is rip girls' tops open.

Coming off a co-starring role in 1983's Deathstalker (also written by scripter Howard R. Cohen), Clarkson gets to take the lead here and seems to be having a lot of fun with it. She's a sexy blonde bombshell that isn't afraid to get naked but also oozes enough bad-ass attitude that she's like a feminist character amid a sea of misogynistic behavior. She'd return for an unrelated sequel and appear in a handful more Corman productions (Haunting of Morella, Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II) before being sadly murdered at the hands of record producer Phil Spector. Zagarino is completely wooden as our male counterpart to Amethea and would go on to co-star in a bunch of crappy action movies. Katt Shea, as warrior sidekick Estrild, delivers her lines like a California surfer girl and is more notable for going on to direct Stripped to Kill, Poison Ivy and The Rage: Carrie 2.

Coming out the same year at the big studio "female Conan" flick, Red Sonja, I think I prefer the ignorant ineptness of Barbarian Queen. With Red Sonja the inanity was supported by a pretty big budget and the clueless direction of Richard Fleischer, Barbarian Queen just plays it cheap and quick and offers more entertainment. It also benefits from Clarkson outclassing Sonja's Brigette Nielsen at every turn. (Chris Hartley, 5/29/14)

Directed By: Hector Olivera.
Written By: Howard R. Cohen.

Starring: Lana Clarkson, Katt Shea, Frank Zagarino, Dawn Dunlap.