If you've ever wondered what Romeo & Juliet would be like if made into a lukewarm romance flick aimed at teenage girls, which just happens to have werewolves in it, then all your questions will be answered by Blood And Chocolate. Of course, that's assuming you can tolerate the syrupy love story, the fricking montage that shows up at the halfway mark, and a general lack of much horror related. The script by Ehren Kruger and Christopher Landon, in premise anyway, is an interesting mix of two sub-genres but it doesn't do either particularly well.

Ten years after seeing her family gunned down by some mystical-looking figures, Vivian (Agnes Bruckner) finds herself transplanted to Bucharest, Romania where she is part of an ancient "pack" of werewolves that are led by Gabriel (Olivier Martinez). She doesn't really abide by the rules of her clan, which upsets many of the members, but things are due to be even more complicated when she meets Aiden (Hugh Dancy) in a local church after she goes there to have quiet time and he's there doing research for a graphic novel.

Amongst the budding relationship, Vivian finds herself trying to shun the advances of her human suitor in fear that he'll get hurt. Which really isn't a bad idea since she's been chosen by Gabriel to be his new mate (something he does every seven years or so). But, seeing as this wants to emulate the Shakespeare classic in almost every way, soon her fellow wolves find out about this forbidden love and the couple has to fight for their lives as Gabriel sics his shape-shifting minions on them - this gives us a few so-so looking CGI wolf transformations (which consist of the actor jumping through the air and changing into a wolf within a flash of light) and a finale that actually ends in a gunfight(?!).

Based (apparently quite loosely) on Annette Curtis Klause's award-winning young adult novel, Blood And Chocolate stumbles at every moment. The idea of romance between human and creature has been tackled before in various movies and television shows (even Charles Band's Meridian works better than this) and everything here just feels "safe". It's like the production studio, in this case MGM, set out an agenda for the makers to deliver a PG-13 programmer aimed at young females and forgot to include anything that even resembles excitement or horror. The movie might contain werewolves but, for most of the running time, you won't realize that fact.

It actually has to say something when, while I was watching this, I was more interested in the eye-catching European scenery than anything the script delivered. Director Katja Von Garnier brings some style to the endeavour but its wrapped around one dull-ass movie. There's just nothing here to latch onto and I found myself constantly looking at the clock awaiting the, sure to be, tragic finish.

Blood And Chocolate is one of those films I find it hard to write a review about. There's just not enough going on below the surface or on the screen worth mentioning and even though its great to look at and Bruckner tries her best in the lead role, there's nothing here for genre fans to latch onto. Maybe impressionable twelve-year-old girls will love it and, due to that fact alone, the rest of us should probably skip it.

Co-writer Kruger is currently attached to the adaptation of the Stephen King/Peter Straub novel, "The Talisman" and the second Transformers movie. Genre fans will know him from his work on Scream 3, both Ring movies, and The Skeleton Key. He also wrote The Brothers Grimm, which is widely acknowledged as eccentric director (and former Monty Python member) Terry Gilliam's worst movie. (Chris Hartley, 5/7/08)

Directed By: Katja Von Garnier.
Written By: Ehren Kruger, Christopher Landon.

Starring: Agnes Bruckner, Olivier Martinez, Hugh Dancy, Bryan Dick.