While I'll always have an affinity for any form of slasher movie, I also always find myself compelled to the "nature run amuck" sub-genre even though companies like SyFy Channel and The Asylum are almost single-handedly grinding it into the dirt. Let's just say that we're years away from the cornball fun that was Food of the Gods or the decent thrills of Cujo. Let's also say that the subject of our review here, Bear, is yet another example of why I'm getting really sour on this type of flick - and to think, co-scripter Ethan Wiley once entertained us with the first two House movies.

The basic premise here is as simple as can be as two bickering brothers and their girlfriends are headed through the California desert to meet up with their father at a restaurant. The younger, hence more stupid, brother Nick (Brendan Michael Coughlin) decides to take their minivan on a detour and he ends up getting them a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. To make matters worse, there's a grizzly lingering by. Have no fear, though, as elder brother Sam (Patrick Scott Lewis) takes time out from being a complete douche to his sibling in order to empty an entire clip into said bear from the gun he's conveniently carrying with him.

Seeing as this wouldn't be much of a killer animal movie if they disposed of our animal villain that early, we soon learn that the now deceased, bullet-ridden grizzly's mate witnessed the entire thing and is incredibly pissed about it. This leads to some poorly staged, and sporadic, scenes of our cast being menaced by the hulking giant in between way too much sarcasm and bickering between our characters which feels completely unrealistic as well as making us being stuck with them in their predicament a complete chore since they're all pretty much assholes.

If there's one thing I have to commend Bear for is giving me multiple cheap (unintentional) chuckles throughout. Just when I was getting over the silly way they've staged the cast getting stranded, along comes a "what the f*ck?!" scene where our killer grizzly is having a sorrowful flashback to its significant other being shot. Seriously, I can't make that shit up. There's also a brief scene where another car passes by and everyone hammers on the windows of the van, only to open it up and crawl out mere minutes after which might have been more effective getting the other person's attention. Then there's all the crappy drama the makers try to wedge into the final reel involving Sam's girlfriend being pregnant that had me wondering where the Hell our murderous bear wandered off to - and don't get me started on that final shot.

Bear isn't the first horror flick to stage most of its action in a small location with a handful of characters but it's probably one of the least effective doing so. Sure, they try and wring some suspense out of a moment where everyone is trapped in a metal pipe and our grizzly's claw is coming through holes in it but it's so badly shot by director John Rebel that it becomes laughable. Then again, all of the attack scenes are ineptly staged. I admit it was nice that they mostly use a real-life bear instead of poor CG effects but there are a few obvious "man in suit" shots - perhaps they should have taken a look at the surprisingly good Burning Bright to see how to do that sort of thing correctly.

To leave you with some pointless trivia, that's probably more entertaining than anything you're going to get from this junker, effects guy Chris Walas (Gremlins, The Fly) is credited here as one of the co-producers as well as donning the bear suit and also worked with Wiley on the second House flick. Co-writer/co-producer Roel Reine has since gone on to helm direct-to-video sequels to The Marine, Death Race, and Scorpion King. (Chris Hartley, 1/23/12)

Directed By: John Rebel.
Written By: Ethan Wiley, Roel Reine.

Starring: Patrick Scott Lewis, Katie Lowes, Brendan Michael Coughlin, Mary Alexandra Stiefvater.