intro - best of 2007 - worst of 2007 - best dvds of 2007
WORST MOVIES OF 2007
Chris Hartley (Head Honcho)
While it's not as bad as last year's original Bloodrayne, it's still perplexing to think of just why this sequel exists and why "most hated" director Uwe Boll still manages to crank them out. They've brought in a new actress to play our title bloodsucking vampire hunter and they've shifted the action to the Old West, but this is still the same old inept Bloodrayne movie. Even attempts by the scripters to bring in some winks at historical characters doesn't help much.
Resident Evil: Extinction
To continue the trend of "sequels that are better than the one before it but still suck" that seems to be populating the top of my list, this third entry in the Resident Evil series continues the trend of ridiculous plotting and model-turned-actress Milla Jovovich showing how flexible she is while fanboys drool. In the hands of Russell Mulcahy (Highlander) I expected more.
Usually horror movies based on Biblical writings (in this case the seven plagues) turn out to be pretty decent but The Reaping is an exception to that rule as it spends most of its running time spinning it's wheels. It's incredibly boring for most of the first half and the effects sequences can't do anything to help but when it really started to piss me off is when they introduced an Omen-like twist in the last third.
I'm not going to admit to being a fan of Adrian Lyne's 1990 bizarro thriller Jacob's Ladder but it's quite easy to see where Sublime gets its inspiration from. As the second movie in newly formed Raw Feed's direct-to-dvd line of genre flicks this isn't as bad as Rest Stop was but it's main problem is confused plotting and a dull as shit pace. I'm all for mindf*ck movies as long as they come together agreeably in the end - this doesn't.
Of all the movies on this list, Basic Slaughter deserves the least ass-kicking. Considering it's a homemade slasher movie populated with non-actor friends of the director and that it barely runs over and hour you have to give it a little bit of grace. However, a lot of that is lost due to the fact that most of the dialogue is from the Kevin Smith school of sarcasm and pop culture references and that there's no flow to the entire thing.
Josh Pasnak (Staff Writer)
When I went to see Captivity in the theatres this year, I thought I had found the worst movie of the year by a landslide. Sadly, it had slipped my mind that Ulli Lommel is still making movies. Lommel's Green River Killer easily topped my list last year and he has managed to achieve the same spot this year without question. This film feels like audition outtakes from a slasher film as all we see is the same scenario repeated eight times over ninety minutes with lackluster effects, no character development, and no plot, This was a complete waste of time. I'm sure if I had the patience to sit through The Tomb or Curse of the Zodiac, they would have made this list as well. I don't. I will, however, watch a Lommel flick in 2008 and see if he can perform the kind of hat trick that you really don't want as a filmmaker.
The torture porn craze seems to be slowing down a bit but that doesn't stop the copycat films from arriving late to the party. This is an extremely contrived attempt to cash in on the success of films like Saw and Hostel but is completely devoid of any of the fanboy enthusiasm that made those movies the minor classics that they are. This seems like a movie that was created in a boardroom solely to make money. I have no idea what Larry Cohen's original script read like but it must have been completely different than the dumbed-down disaster that this became. This also wins the award for the most unlikely, unnecessary, and unsexy love scene committed to film in a very long time.
Those rascals who made Day of the Dead: Contagium are at it again trying to destroy the good name of another franchise that George A. Romero created. While this was slightly better than Contagium, it was still a waste of film that puts another nail in the coffin of the once beloved subgenre of the horror anthology. This type of film used to work great until low-budget filmmakers discovered it was the cheapest way to make a horror movie and the market was flooded with all kinds of dreck. Ana Clavell and James Dudelson really need to stop making horror movies as they clearly have no concept or love of the genre other than to line their pockets with money based on someone else's work.
Rob Zombie now has three strikes as far as I am concerned. I have wanted to like Zombie's movies since I heard he was planning on directing. My initial excitement quickly turned to dismay after House of 1,000 Corpses and although I think he is improving, it is at a snail's pace. This guy is obviously a fan of horror and exploitation flicks but he just does not know how to tell a good story. Pacing and plot are ignored and instead he focuses on trying to make the villains cool and trying to be "harsh". Aside from the problems with the storytelling, Zombie's Halloween also manages to make Laurie Strode one of the single most annoying characters I have seen in a horror movie. Enduring her presence made bashing my teeth in with a freshly used fish mallet seem pleasant. This was a piss-poor sequel in the guise of a remake. It will take a lot to get me to watch another Rob Zombie movie but I hope one day he learns his craft and makes my list of best movies instead.
It is extremely rare for a movie franchise to be any good after the third sequel. If you look at all the classic horror franchises, many should have not had any sequels at all, but those who did usually started getting embarrassing after the third. The Saw series is no exception and after last year's third entry in the series, I thought Jigsaw and his crazy schemes may break the mold. This isn't what ended up happening and instead the franchise has become boring and has taken on the pompous tone of its villain. This movie tries to be too clever for its own good and the result is a horror movie that is much too talky and that seems intent on nailing down the mythos of its villain that has already been established as an icon for this generation. I thought Saw III ended on the upswing and wrapped up the trilogy perfectly. I wish they had just left it at that but as they say in Hollywood - money talks.